I decided that I would choose her with white skin so that she would be close to me and would not be tired when she grew up because of the difference in skin color.” My name is Heba, single. I work as a pharmacist, and I am 40 years old. It was my life’s dream to be a mother, but didn’t get married. I wanted to have a daughter, but the law did not allow women, who never got married, to do kafala. I knew that the law changed and I watched videos of Marwa and Yasmina, who gave me new hope in life, and I took the step. I submitted my papers, and thank God, it was accepted. The beautiful thing about it is that the approval came to me on Valentine’s Day, February 14, 2021, and it was the most beautiful day in my life. I wanted to have a little girl so that I could live every moment with her, and share with her first laugh, her first birthday, her first baby steps, her first words. and I decided that I would choose her with white skin so that she would be close to me and would be accepted by the society when she grew up because of the difference in skin color. God willed that she is of a dark skin color and also from Upper Egypt, as if God was telling me that I am the one to choose for you, not you, and it was the best choice. God blessed me with Mariam. Praise be to God, since the day she got into my life, I was filled with happiness and love; and I still had a goal to live for, and I still had hope in life, and I always prayed that God would support me to raise her well and be a good person.

“My husband told me that my son was missing and I found him, and I told him, ‘This is my son. I don’t want anyone else.’ For 7 years, my husband and I thought of kafala, but we travelled and we stopped thinking about it. I lived outside Egypt for a while until I started hearing about kafala on Facebook. I was at a very difficult stage in my life due to estrangement and loneliness. I did Umrah and prayed to God a lot. My husband agreed when I spoke to him. I actually spoke to him, but his opinion was that we were waiting until we settled in Egypt. At that time, I decided to prepare myself well, and I read a lot about kafala and law, and I watched videos about it and how to do it. At that time, I decided that I would present the idea of kafala again to my husband and that we would not have to wait and we could do kafala of our son and he would stay with us and settle comfortably later in Egypt. He said, ‘Let us think.’ And throughout the month of Ramadan, he used to ask for guidance and pray a lot, and on the first day of Eid, he said, ‘Let’s go for it’. We begin kafala procedures, and I was so happy, so I sent to the foster care institution, which put me in touch with Amani in the Ministry of Social Solidarity in Giza, who helped me very much in the procedures. The procedures were easy, thank God, but the difficult thing was waiting. It was a dreadful feeling to just wait. We traveled after the committee approved us and waited. The security inquiry took 10 months. When the security approval came, I cried, and I squealed with joy. I went to Egypt for compulsory training and in the training, I met the greatest mothers, who taught us and understood us, Professor Marwa and Professor Noura from Yalla Kafala. I really learned a lot of things from them. They made us understand and knew how much we should be prepared for our children. The day I got the approval to see my son, I was over the moon. I couldn’t wait any longer and started looking for my son everywhere I go to. Until the Wydad orphanage informed me that there was a child that we could see, I went, feeling that he was my son before even meeting him. And the first time I saw him, oh God, it was like meant to be; the similarity of our characters and his, his features, and the comfort we felt talking to him. And from here the journey started. I breastfed my son and he became my son through breastfeeding. A different feeling as he breastfed and that he remained a part of me. Days passed and I got to spend Ramadan with him and buy him Eid clothes. The best Ramadan and Eid I have ever had, I have never been happier. I prayed Eid with my son for the first time. I forgot to tell you that everybody liked my son and would want to have him the first time they see him. Thanks to God, his travel procedures were completed easily and smoothly. My friends made a surprise for us. He is now living with us, filling our lives with joy and love. May God bless him and empower us to support and raise him to be a good person.

I can’t remember how old I was when I knew about it, but it was roughly between the first and third years of primary school. My mother told me that we are not your real mother and father. Your father's name is such-and-such, and your mother’s name is such-and-such, and they died in an accident. Since that moment, my heart was racing and felt like I am drowned in a sea of thoughts. I kept asking myself the real question, which was: If they died in an accident, how did I stay alive? I was shocked to my very core. The shock was brutal and difficult. I don’t remember how many days I cried before sleep because it must have been years and I am not exaggerating if I said this because I could not imagine that I could lose my mother and my father who I am with now. The issue has affected me psychologically, physically and socially, and I feel that at this time I have become silent and do not talk much, and I have not been able to form relationships with those around me. I also stopped eating and threw away food. I barely ate and I wasn't even hungry. These are things I noticed when I grew up a little, but when I was young, I didn't understand why or I wasn't even interested in understanding why. All I could think about was, "We get punished when we do something wrong. Surely I'm a bad person, so this happened to me." And sometimes I feel that I seriously don't deserve anything. I don't deserve what they do to me. I don't deserve their love because as I said, I'm a monster. I wasn’t much popular because of my appearance, my weight, and my way of doing things. There are many things that made me unable to determine whether my childhood was good or not. My problem is that they never helped me with this matter. I don’t know if they thought that this was normal or that I would forget or what the truth was. I don’t know. I wanted them to tell me the whole truth and I would have accepted it as I accepted what they said before because I certainly had no other choice, but at least I needed someone to tell me the truth. This may be difficult, but it is not my fault, and I am not as bad as I thought, and there are many people like me. What I denounced the most is that every time I come to ask what exactly happened, they yelled at me for asking. For them, my questions mean for that they are not enough. I just want to know, and this is my right to know. I live in the hope that I will meet them when I die, and I will meet my mother in heaven, and I keep imagining what we would look like when we meet, and that thought and dream comfort me because at the moment when this happens, I will not be afraid again. I will not be sad again. I will not lose anyone else. If I decided to tell them that now, they will be upset. I just want them to understand that just as any father and mother love their children with the same love as each other, I can also love two families with the same amount of love, and that they both represent many things to me, because in the end, this is what made me the person I am now. If I go for kafala of a real child, I would feel that I am the happiest person in the world, because I am sure that I would give him all the love that I have. I am sure that I will read books or learn what is the right way for him to be raised well so that he can become a good person. He won’t feel inferior in any way, and of course he has complete freedom to miss his biological family, and I will respect that very much, and I will be happy to answer all his questions and discuss them and make him understand that his being like this does not mean anything other than that he is a special person to me, and that my love for him is unconditional. I love him because he is the person he is, regardless of anything else. This will surely make him love himself, and this will give him confidence not only in himself but in those around him as well. I know that the whole matter will be a traumatic experience at first but I will take him to a psychological counselor if I felt that he has dark thoughts. The most important thing for me is that he is able to share all his feelings about anything freely and without fear or such. Kafala in general is a beautiful thing, but it also has negative effects, and any child, no matter how big he is, deserves to know his truth, love it, accept it, and feel love from those around him. Also, the name of the author of the story was changed based on her desire.