I can’t remember how old I was when I knew about it, but it was roughly between the first and third years of primary school. My mother told me that we are not your real mother and father. Your father's name is such-and-such, and your mother’s name is such-and-such, and they died in an accident. Since that moment, my heart was racing and felt like I am drowned in a sea of thoughts. I kept asking myself the real question, which was: If they died in an accident, how did I stay alive? I was shocked to my very core. The shock was brutal and difficult. I don’t remember how many days I cried before sleep because it must have been years and I am not exaggerating if I said this because I could not imagine that I could lose my mother and my father who I am with now. The issue has affected me psychologically, physically and socially, and I feel that at this time I have become silent and do not talk much, and I have not been able to form relationships with those around me. I also stopped eating and threw away food. I barely ate and I wasn't even hungry. These are things I noticed when I grew up a little, but when I was young, I didn't understand why or I wasn't even interested in understanding why. All I could think about was, "We get punished when we do something wrong. Surely I'm a bad person, so this happened to me." And sometimes I feel that I seriously don't deserve anything. I don't deserve what they do to me. I don't deserve their love because as I said, I'm a monster. I wasn’t much popular because of my appearance, my weight, and my way of doing things. There are many things that made me unable to determine whether my childhood was good or not. My problem is that they never helped me with this matter. I don’t know if they thought that this was normal or that I would forget or what the truth was. I don’t know. I wanted them to tell me the whole truth and I would have accepted it as I accepted what they said before because I certainly had no other choice, but at least I needed someone to tell me the truth. This may be difficult, but it is not my fault, and I am not as bad as I thought, and there are many people like me. What I denounced the most is that every time I come to ask what exactly happened, they yelled at me for asking. For them, my questions mean for that they are not enough. I just want to know, and this is my right to know. I live in the hope that I will meet them when I die, and I will meet my mother in heaven, and I keep imagining what we would look like when we meet, and that thought and dream comfort me because at the moment when this happens, I will not be afraid again. I will not be sad again. I will not lose anyone else. If I decided to tell them that now, they will be upset. I just want them to understand that just as any father and mother love their children with the same love as each other, I can also love two families with the same amount of love, and that they both represent many things to me, because in the end, this is what made me the person I am now. If I go for kafala of a real child, I would feel that I am the happiest person in the world, because I am sure that I would give him all the love that I have. I am sure that I will read books or learn what is the right way for him to be raised well so that he can become a good person. He won’t feel inferior in any way, and of course he has complete freedom to miss his biological family, and I will respect that very much, and I will be happy to answer all his questions and discuss them and make him understand that his being like this does not mean anything other than that he is a special person to me, and that my love for him is unconditional. I love him because he is the person he is, regardless of anything else. This will surely make him love himself, and this will give him confidence not only in himself but in those around him as well. I know that the whole matter will be a traumatic experience at first but I will take him to a psychological counselor if I felt that he has dark thoughts. The most important thing for me is that he is able to share all his feelings about anything freely and without fear or such. Kafala in general is a beautiful thing, but it also has negative effects, and any child, no matter how big he is, deserves to know his truth, love it, accept it, and feel love from those around him. Also, the name of the author of the story was changed based on her desire.

“My husband told me that my son was missing and I found him, and I told him, ‘This is my son. I don’t want anyone else.’ For 7 years, my husband and I thought of kafala, but we travelled and we stopped thinking about it. I lived outside Egypt for a while until I started hearing about kafala on Facebook. I was at a very difficult stage in my life due to estrangement and loneliness. I did Umrah and prayed to God a lot. My husband agreed when I spoke to him. I actually spoke to him, but his opinion was that we were waiting until we settled in Egypt. At that time, I decided to prepare myself well, and I read a lot about kafala and law, and I watched videos about it and how to do it. At that time, I decided that I would present the idea of kafala again to my husband and that we would not have to wait and we could do kafala of our son and he would stay with us and settle comfortably later in Egypt. He said, ‘Let us think.’ And throughout the month of Ramadan, he used to ask for guidance and pray a lot, and on the first day of Eid, he said, ‘Let’s go for it’. We begin kafala procedures, and I was so happy, so I sent to the foster care institution, which put me in touch with Amani in the Ministry of Social Solidarity in Giza, who helped me very much in the procedures. The procedures were easy, thank God, but the difficult thing was waiting. It was a dreadful feeling to just wait. We traveled after the committee approved us and waited. The security inquiry took 10 months. When the security approval came, I cried, and I squealed with joy. I went to Egypt for compulsory training and in the training, I met the greatest mothers, who taught us and understood us, Professor Marwa and Professor Noura from Yalla Kafala. I really learned a lot of things from them. They made us understand and knew how much we should be prepared for our children. The day I got the approval to see my son, I was over the moon. I couldn’t wait any longer and started looking for my son everywhere I go to. Until the Wydad orphanage informed me that there was a child that we could see, I went, feeling that he was my son before even meeting him. And the first time I saw him, oh God, it was like meant to be; the similarity of our characters and his, his features, and the comfort we felt talking to him. And from here the journey started. I breastfed my son and he became my son through breastfeeding. A different feeling as he breastfed and that he remained a part of me. Days passed and I got to spend Ramadan with him and buy him Eid clothes. The best Ramadan and Eid I have ever had, I have never been happier. I prayed Eid with my son for the first time. I forgot to tell you that everybody liked my son and would want to have him the first time they see him. Thanks to God, his travel procedures were completed easily and smoothly. My friends made a surprise for us. He is now living with us, filling our lives with joy and love. May God bless him and empower us to support and raise him to be a good person.

My story began 25 years ago. When I was in high school, the mathematics teacher took us to an orphanage. Since that day, I have been fascinated by the question of how come and why all these children without a home or family. When I was 15 years old, I knew that I wanted to help these children, and I knew that one day I would surely do. I didn't know when or how, but I was sure it would happen. Years passed and I graduated from university. I preferred to visit the same orphanage and watch the girls grow up. I worked for the first time in 2001, and at the same time the orphanage asked for volunteers to support the new children financially. I decided that with my first salary, I would support one of the girls. After years, my relationship with her and other 7 girls remained strong. I felt that no matter how much love, money, and time we spent with them, it would never be like to be loved by a family of theirs in a home. Their decisions weren’t in their hands. Among those 8 girls, only two remained in touch with me and our relationship grew stronger by time. They are 20 years old and they study in Cairo University. Every time I try to do kafala for those two girls, Ministry of Social Solidarity refuse along with my family because I was unmarried and still young. They would always tell me that what I am doing is enough; I couldn’t agree with them because I was determined that I would do kafala when I get married and raise both of my two children and breastfeed them together. Now, I am 40 years old and unmarried. I am happy and proud of my decisions and all the expriences that made me who I am now. After a while, new laws were released, and it became possible to do kafala even if I am not married. I can now do kafala for my future daughter, raise her in a safe home and provide her with love and care. All those children deserve a safe home. They don’t deserve to be left out. They didn’t choose their circumstances. I knew about the new laws from the Facebook page: Adoption Story in Egypt. Since then, I followed Rasha Mekky, liked her story and was about to get in touch with her. I talked to her about my fears of the whole experience. She supported me and taught me a lot. On June, I found the link of the adoption application by the Ministry of Social Solidarity online. I finally took the decision and applied. I finished all the papers by the 30th of June. It was an official holiday, but weirdly enough I was able to submit my file this day. I was going to stay at my grandfather’s place but I couldn’t find the lease. However, officials helped me and made me sign an agreement that I would inform them of my new home, if I left that one. My biggest fear was telling my dad. I decided to visit him in Sahel. His first reponse was NO of course. I kept trying to convince him 4 days in a row. He was afraid that I might not be aware of how huge this step is. He didn’t want me to break my heart and lose the life I love. It would be hard for a single mother to be responsible solely of a kid. I was supposed to get back to Cairo for the social worker visit. My father wasn’t against the idea. I am sure that he will be the best grandfather to my daughter. I got a call on Sunday the 5th of July by the social worker. The visit report was positive, and the committee visit will be on the 15th of July. I couldn’t believe that in less than 10 days, I will have all the papers to have a family of my own. I started to look at the orphanages around me in Cairo. I saw more than 7 girls, their ages ranged from two and a half months to a year and two months, but my daughter was not one of them, she was not in Cairo at all. A week ago, I got a call from a surrogate mother who was looking for a girl like me, and she said that she went to Suez and saw two girls there, and she was not confident in her decision. She sent me their pictures, and I asked her to pray and decide. Then she decided to sponsor one of them, “Mariam,” and she asked me if I had found my daughter or not yet. She suggested that I check the photo of the other girl. At that time, I thought that I was not affected by the pictures she had sent. I asked her to send me other pictures. She sent me a picture of a girl as beautiful as the moon. My heart skipped a beat. I knew that she was exactly 27 days old. This means that she was born on the 20th of June. I was overwhelmed when I remember that I dreamed that day of my deceased friend’s father taking me by the hand to the gate of heaven and making me sit next to the Prophet in a reserved place for me. And I remembered the noble hadith (may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, he said: I and the one who takes care of an orphan are like these in heaven, and he pointed with his index and middle fingers). So, this was it. I traveled to Suez and saw my daughter Ghalia. She was one month old and I was supposed to wait another two months so that I could take her with me into our home. For two whole months, I kept waiting. They were the longest two months in my life. In these two months I will start the artificial feeding course so that I can breastfeed her as soon as she arrives. I believe that breastfeeding creates a special relationship between mother and baby. Moreover, it strengthens the immune system. I will do my best to raise her well and make her the happiest girl in the world. Everything she dreams of will be there. My family and I will provide her with the best life. We appreciate her. Ghalia now has her own family forever. You have enlightened our lives, Ghalia.