“Despite that some of the officials asked me to return her and choose someone else, I couldn’t because God asked me to have her in a dream. I would definitely do the same, if I got back in time” I am Hanan from Sohag, married for 22 years, and I thought about kafala after five years of marriage and I approached my husband many times about the matter, but he refused every time. When my father, may he rest in peace, died, I felt lonely even though my mother and sisters were present, and I felt that I would be alone for the rest of my life. I was afraid of old age and afraid that I would die and no one would be with me. So, I talked to my husband about kafala again, and again he refused. However, this time I was determined and I asked him to make the choice between accepting kafala or divorcing me, so he desperately agreed. Right the next day, I went and chose Rahma. In fact, God was the one who chose her for me because the day before that I saw her in a dream, and I received Rahma within a week, and the process took no time. It was the most beautiful day of my life. When I heard her calling me “Mama” for the first time, I felt extremely happy. She was bouncing like a child, and every day she was growing before my eyes, happiness and the love between us increased. I discovered after a short while that my daughter had special needs. I thanked God for his blessing, and I did not think of a moment to abandon her, even though some of the officials asked me to return her and choose another, I couldn’t because God asked me to have her in a dream. I would definitely do the same, if I got back in time. After 10 years, I decided to go for kafala again, and thank God I came forward, and after so many procedures, I received Mariam, and it was the same longing that I felt the day I received Rahma, and Rahma was very happy with Mariam. I was so excited and prepared everything for her. I got her new clothes, food, dolls, and sweets. May God bless them, I was completely happy, and I loved them. I felt that my family had grown, knowing that Rahma was the one who chose Mariam. Praise be to God, he honored me with my daughters and Yalla Kafala, and I will be next to our prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, in Paradise”.

I want to tell you my story. My name is Marwa, I am 7 months old. Don’t be surprised that I was born only 7 months ago. Before that, it was just a number on my ID card. I was born when my son slept in my arms the first night he came home. The first month was hard for me and him.We were afraid of each other. He was afraid of everything - the new place, the house, the bed, and me. And I was afraid, too. I am not superwoman, and I was afraid of failure. So, yes, the first month was the most hard one for me and him, but now, after 7 months have passed, I know the meaning of true happiness, happiness that comes from the heart. I knew what it means to open my eyes and see him laughing at me with his little smile. I knew how it feels to feed him and have him feeding and making me happy. I knew the joy that had been absent from my life and extinguished a long time ago. When Yahya lightened my life, he lighted my heart, and with his innocence he erased all the pain that I felt before having him How can syuch a small kid, as small as my palm, to be my whole world? Yahya remained the center of my life, and anything can come after him. He erased all the pain I felt before with his innocence. The experience may remain a little scary and we may retreat, but honestly and with all my heart it is an experience worth the risk. And it is worth taking this step, not only for them, but for ourselves, for their embrace, because Yahya was the one who reconciled with Marwa and made me meet her after 41 years.

I will talk about the first time I got married and discovered that my husband and I had a problem with having children. Of course, we suffered a lot from people’s words and their looks. We had enough of people’s talk like “Work to keep yourself occupied” or “Did you find any treatment? Poor you” or “When will you have children?!” I will never be able to forget the words of my mother-in-law on my third wedding anniversary when she told us that she has been waiting for three years already to have a grandchild. This till one day I knew about kafala and I didn’t know that this is an available option in Egypt. When I asked people about this topic, they told me that there is no such thing as adoption, which is forbidden! But if you were to do kafala, you would only support financially and visit them. I was close to despair and began to really think about divorce. At least I would remain single and no one would think why she had no children. Until I came across a video on YouTube of a Kuwaiti family who had their son, and I was surprised that in There is something called kafala. I started searching social media about kafala until I found that there is actually something called kafala that exists in Egypt. I started reading the stories of kafala mothers and found myself with more than one mother, and we became very close friends. They talked to me a lot about their sons and daughters. They were honest with me about their feelings, how noble and sincere they were, and they really made me change my mind completely. At first, I wanted kafala to get rid of people talks and save my marriage, but they helped me to be convinced that sponsorship is not like that, and when I decide to do kafala, I will because I really liked the idea of kafala. I liked the idea that you save a child who is alone without a home, a mother, or a father. I liked the idea that kafala is a guaranteed door to heaven, and the kafala mother and father are the prophet’s neighbors in heaven. I liked the idea that I shouldn’t care about what people say. I will do kafala so that my son or daughter can live with me and be blessed by their presence. And I actually spoke to my husband. We have begun the procedures. First, we were afraid because the matter involved insurance, accounts, and government papers, but every step we took went smoothly. We spent two months completing the procedures, and the awaited moment came. I will not lie to you. I wish it was a girl, and I even chose her name and arranged the room for her with drawings and colors of pink and so on. We went to the Orman House, and we spoke to the director of the house, who shocked us that there were no girls for kafala now, only boys. My husband’s reaction wasn’t positive. It seemed like he didn’t like that there are no girls for kafala. I acted like I am not affected by his reaction, and I returned to the director. And I told her that I wanted to see the children. Frankly, she very much welcomed my decision, and in my husband’s eyes there were the words that I could not say: “Didn’t we agree that we would have a girl?” We entered the room, and the mothers in the house began to bring the children, and my heart beat very fast at seeing those beloved angels. Seven children, each of them one of them is four months old. I was sad by the thought that these children are left out. I felt that I wanted to hug them and tell them that I love you and will not abandon you, but then I came back to reality and found that unfortunately the law and my ability only allow me to sponsor one child. All this while I completely forgot about my husband, so when I looked for him, I found him sitting on a chair carrying one of the children. I was surprised. My husband was crying while holding this baby. I barely see my husband cry. I went to him, stroked him, and told him, “How do you feel?” He felt the same as me. He thought of how much he loved all these children and was sad that he would not be able to help them all. Then he wiped away his tears and kissed the boy and returned him to the mother who was carrying him, and thanked the director of the orphanage and said, “I wanted to do kafala for a girl. I am sorry”. The director was a very respectable woman who appreciated our decision. She gave us the address of another branch of the house. She had information that it had 3 girls from which we could choose our daughter. We thanked her and went to the second branch. Despite the feelings of sadness that we felt at the house, we were very excited, because we felt that we were very close to picking up our daughter. We entered the house and spoke to the director and we explained the situation to her, and we went out to see the girls. Three beautiful girls were three months, four months, and six months old. We loved them very much and took them away and tried to create a bond of feelings with each one of them, but despite my intense love for them, I did not feel that I was a mother to any of them. I began to doubt myself. My friends told me that as soon as I held the child, I would feel that she was my daughter. I started to get nervous and looked at my husband, who understood me right away, and I found him saying to me: “We will not take a child who we do not feel is our daughter. We can go to another house”. The director caught up on the matter and asked us to see the boys. We told her, “We want a girl.” I found that she responded with such a smile, and asked us again to see the boys. We agreed with her, just out of desperation on our part. They started bringing the boys. Two beautiful boys, but I still don’t feel anything towards any of them. I started to cry, so my husband took my hand and asked the director if those are all the children they have or not. She said yes. He said, “Okay, we are sorry that we have bothered you.” While he was still walking, we found one of the mothers coming out with a blanket wrapped around her arm, and no baby parts could be seen from it, no hand, no leg, no head. The blanket seemed to be empty, and I found her saying, “Come on and see who was hiding in the bed,” and she brought it to me. I put the blanket in my arms, unfolded it and looked to find the sweetest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. My son, the first thing I said when I saw him. His features were not visible because of how much he was tiny. I was so happy that I unconsciously started showing my love for the baby. My husband kept thanking God and he was extremely happy that we finally found our son. Hamza was very young. He was 7 days old, and we had to wait until he was three months old so we could take him (the old kafala laws). Three months went by like three years. I visited him every day, and I cried every time I had to leave him. I bought him tiny clothes, and I started a milk production course with a lactation doctor so that I could breastfeed him. We told our family and kept taking pictures of him. My mobile phone was filled with pictures and videos of Hamza. Until the big day came, the day I get to have Hamza. I prepared his clothes, then I breastfed him. Finally, you will be with me, Hamza. I won’t have my heart ache again on leaving you on every visit. I can see you all the time and take you in my arms. May God bless you, my beloved son.