I will talk about the first time I got married and discovered that my husband and I had a problem with having children. Of course, we suffered a lot from people’s words and their looks. We had enough of people’s talk like “Work to keep yourself occupied” or “Did you find any treatment? Poor you” or “When will you have children?!” I will never be able to forget the words of my mother-in-law on my third wedding anniversary when she told us that she has been waiting for three years already to have a grandchild. This till one day I knew about kafala and I didn’t know that this is an available option in Egypt. When I asked people about this topic, they told me that there is no such thing as adoption, which is forbidden! But if you were to do kafala, you would only support financially and visit them. I was close to despair and began to really think about divorce. At least I would remain single and no one would think why she had no children. Until I came across a video on YouTube of a Kuwaiti family who had their son, and I was surprised that in There is something called kafala. I started searching social media about kafala until I found that there is actually something called kafala that exists in Egypt. I started reading the stories of kafala mothers and found myself with more than one mother, and we became very close friends. They talked to me a lot about their sons and daughters. They were honest with me about their feelings, how noble and sincere they were, and they really made me change my mind completely. At first, I wanted kafala to get rid of people talks and save my marriage, but they helped me to be convinced that sponsorship is not like that, and when I decide to do kafala, I will because I really liked the idea of kafala. I liked the idea that you save a child who is alone without a home, a mother, or a father. I liked the idea that kafala is a guaranteed door to heaven, and the kafala mother and father are the prophet’s neighbors in heaven. I liked the idea that I shouldn’t care about what people say. I will do kafala so that my son or daughter can live with me and be blessed by their presence. And I actually spoke to my husband. We have begun the procedures. First, we were afraid because the matter involved insurance, accounts, and government papers, but every step we took went smoothly. We spent two months completing the procedures, and the awaited moment came. I will not lie to you. I wish it was a girl, and I even chose her name and arranged the room for her with drawings and colors of pink and so on. We went to the Orman House, and we spoke to the director of the house, who shocked us that there were no girls for kafala now, only boys. My husband’s reaction wasn’t positive. It seemed like he didn’t like that there are no girls for kafala. I acted like I am not affected by his reaction, and I returned to the director. And I told her that I wanted to see the children. Frankly, she very much welcomed my decision, and in my husband’s eyes there were the words that I could not say: “Didn’t we agree that we would have a girl?” We entered the room, and the mothers in the house began to bring the children, and my heart beat very fast at seeing those beloved angels. Seven children, each of them one of them is four months old. I was sad by the thought that these children are left out. I felt that I wanted to hug them and tell them that I love you and will not abandon you, but then I came back to reality and found that unfortunately the law and my ability only allow me to sponsor one child. All this while I completely forgot about my husband, so when I looked for him, I found him sitting on a chair carrying one of the children. I was surprised. My husband was crying while holding this baby. I barely see my husband cry. I went to him, stroked him, and told him, “How do you feel?” He felt the same as me. He thought of how much he loved all these children and was sad that he would not be able to help them all. Then he wiped away his tears and kissed the boy and returned him to the mother who was carrying him, and thanked the director of the orphanage and said, “I wanted to do kafala for a girl. I am sorry”. The director was a very respectable woman who appreciated our decision. She gave us the address of another branch of the house. She had information that it had 3 girls from which we could choose our daughter. We thanked her and went to the second branch. Despite the feelings of sadness that we felt at the house, we were very excited, because we felt that we were very close to picking up our daughter. We entered the house and spoke to the director and we explained the situation to her, and we went out to see the girls. Three beautiful girls were three months, four months, and six months old. We loved them very much and took them away and tried to create a bond of feelings with each one of them, but despite my intense love for them, I did not feel that I was a mother to any of them. I began to doubt myself. My friends told me that as soon as I held the child, I would feel that she was my daughter. I started to get nervous and looked at my husband, who understood me right away, and I found him saying to me: “We will not take a child who we do not feel is our daughter. We can go to another house”. The director caught up on the matter and asked us to see the boys. We told her, “We want a girl.” I found that she responded with such a smile, and asked us again to see the boys. We agreed with her, just out of desperation on our part. They started bringing the boys. Two beautiful boys, but I still don’t feel anything towards any of them. I started to cry, so my husband took my hand and asked the director if those are all the children they have or not. She said yes. He said, “Okay, we are sorry that we have bothered you.” While he was still walking, we found one of the mothers coming out with a blanket wrapped around her arm, and no baby parts could be seen from it, no hand, no leg, no head. The blanket seemed to be empty, and I found her saying, “Come on and see who was hiding in the bed,” and she brought it to me. I put the blanket in my arms, unfolded it and looked to find the sweetest thing I have ever seen in my entire life. My son, the first thing I said when I saw him. His features were not visible because of how much he was tiny. I was so happy that I unconsciously started showing my love for the baby. My husband kept thanking God and he was extremely happy that we finally found our son. Hamza was very young. He was 7 days old, and we had to wait until he was three months old so we could take him (the old kafala laws). Three months went by like three years. I visited him every day, and I cried every time I had to leave him. I bought him tiny clothes, and I started a milk production course with a lactation doctor so that I could breastfeed him. We told our family and kept taking pictures of him. My mobile phone was filled with pictures and videos of Hamza. Until the big day came, the day I get to have Hamza. I prepared his clothes, then I breastfed him. Finally, you will be with me, Hamza. I won’t have my heart ache again on leaving you on every visit. I can see you all the time and take you in my arms. May God bless you, my beloved son.

I was afraid to go to any baby shower and bless any child born in the family, for the fear of people’s looks at me or their fear of envy, because I am sterile and have been married for 10 years without children. I was dreaming of having a child to fill my life with joy and warmth. One time, I saw a woman sitting with her young son, feeding and playing with him. I was distracted by them and imagined that one day I might have this same feeling. I made many proposals to my husband that he would get married and leave and have children, but he always refused. One day, my husband’s relative went for a kafala of a beautiful daughter, God bless her. The first time I saw her, my heart ached, and the tears fell down my face. Since then, I stopped eating, and I spent an entire week, thinking of kafala, until one day I submitted an application without having any expectations. Unexpectedly in the same week, the Ministry of Social Solidarity called me and asked me to prepare my papers. I was extremely thrilled, but unfortunately my husband refused the idea. I kept nagging about it until he agreed and told me to ask for the family’s opinion. I presented the idea to my mother-in-law, but she also refused and told me that it was a huge responsibility. I convinced her and she agreed. I believe that this is my destiny and God’s will. Thanks to God, the process was very easy and I received my son, Mustafa when he was 10 months old, and now, God bless him, he is 3 years old, and all those who refused were the people who were most attached and loved him very much.

Hello, everyone. I am here to tell my story. I am a girl like any other girl who dreams of the white dress, the knight on a horse, home, and children. My dreams are simple. It was my destiny and God’s will for all this to happen. Thank God, I am very satisfied with God’s arrangements. I worked as a teacher at an orphanage. Every time I saw a child, I get attached to them, loved them, and felt like they were my children. I used to get extremely sad when I get attached to a kid, and then they walk away from class, and I would cry for many days and become attached again and again until I thought that I would continue to be attached like this to a child that was not mine. I wanted a child of my own. No one would take him away from me. I felt that my life was empty. There was no purpose in it, there was no life in the first place. It was only one color until I thought about going to the orphanage and go for a kafala, but I knew that it would be impossible because I am not married. I thought about do kafala for a child and visit him. The important thing is I hear the word “mama.” I want to be a mother like all women. I want to breastfeed, change diapers and raise them well. Before I went to the orphanage, I read a post by Shaima, Muhannad’s mother, that she got her son while she was divorced. She was like a moment of epiphany to me. I asked her, and she answered honestly and gave me hope. After a long time of despair, I decided and was determined to fulfill my dream of becoming a mother. I contacted Youmna Dahrouj, who helped me to know and understand everything about kafala. The next step was to inform my family of my decision, and a war started between me and them; they totally refused because they didn’t know much about how and why I would go for kafala. They see me as a girl from a rural community and this is against my traditions. I was determined to make my dream come true. I dreamed about her, about my daughter, whom I decided to name her Fatima, after my mother, may God have mercy on her. I wish the rejection was from my family only, but unfortunately even the Ministry of Social Solidarity rejected me. The day of the search was the worst day in my life. I swear I was going to die. I felt that my dreams were gone. I dreamed of Fatima by my side, crying, laughing, and playing, and I did not even see her. I dreamed of her everywhere with me. I would wake up all startled, thinking that I heard her crying, but I look next to me and find no one. That search day made me devasted and made my dreams all shattered. Do you know the angel who comes to rescue you from loss? This was Rasha Makki. This was my angel who came and touched my heart. I did not know her. I wrote a post, asking about kafala, she saw the post and send me one word. I felt that she was my sister or my mother. She said to me, “I saw your post. I feel you.” That word touched my heart. Someone gets upset because of you, and you don’t know anyone to help you. It was her, an angel sent from God to me. She helped me a lot. I felt like I was flying in the sky, and I was going to see Fatima soon. The dream of my life would come true. I chose her. I swear she was the oldest person there. I had mixed feelings. I felt afraid as soon as I took her away. Can I raise and make her happy or treat her well? I talked to her and she made me laugh, and I was hesistant about having her, when she kissed me. It is as if she was asking me not to leave her. The one who was with me said, “This is your daughter. She kissed you, and she doesn’t know you.” I said, “Okay” and left. When I came out of the room, I found her calling me “Mama”. I wanted to open my heart and hide her inside it. This is my daughter. This is Fatima. This is the one who will take me to heaven. And today, after five months, she is with me, the best five months of my life. I have a daughter who calls me her mother. She hugs me when I cry. I don’t know anything else but her hug. She colored my life with the taste of joy and happiness. May God bless and protect her, and may God strengthen me to raise her well and make her the happies girl in the world.