Fatma

Hello, everyone. I am here to tell my story. I am a girl like any other girl who dreams of the white dress, the knight on a horse, home, and children. My dreams are simple. It was my destiny and God’s will for all this to happen. Thank God, I am very satisfied with God’s arrangements. I worked as a teacher at an orphanage. Every time I saw a child, I get attached to them, loved them, and felt like they were my children. I used to get extremely sad when I get attached to a kid, and then they walk away from class, and I would cry for many days and become attached again and again until I thought that I would continue to be attached like this to a child that was not mine. I wanted a child of my own. No one would take him away from me. I felt that my life was empty. There was no purpose in it, there was no life in the first place. It was only one color until I thought about going to the orphanage and go for a kafala, but I knew that it would be impossible because I am not married. I thought about do kafala for a child and visit him. The important thing is I hear the word “mama.” I want to be a mother like all women. I want to breastfeed, change diapers and raise them well. Before I went to the orphanage, I read a post by Shaima, Muhannad’s mother, that she got her son while she was divorced. She was like a moment of epiphany to me. I asked her, and she answered honestly and gave me hope. After a long time of despair, I decided and was determined to fulfill my dream of becoming a mother. I contacted Youmna Dahrouj, who helped me to know and understand everything about kafala. The next step was to inform my family of my decision, and a war started between me and them; they totally refused because they didn’t know much about how and why I would go for kafala. They see me as a girl from a rural community and this is against my traditions. I was determined to make my dream come true. I dreamed about her, about my daughter, whom I decided to name her Fatima, after my mother, may God have mercy on her. I wish the rejection was from my family only, but unfortunately even the Ministry of Social Solidarity rejected me. The day of the search was the worst day in my life. I swear I was going to die. I felt that my dreams were gone. I dreamed of Fatima by my side, crying, laughing, and playing, and I did not even see her. I dreamed of her everywhere with me. I would wake up all startled, thinking that I heard her crying, but I look next to me and find no one. That search day made me devasted and made my dreams all shattered. Do you know the angel who comes to rescue you from loss? This was Rasha Makki. This was my angel who came and touched my heart. I did not know her. I wrote a post, asking about kafala, she saw the post and send me one word. I felt that she was my sister or my mother. She said to me, “I saw your post. I feel you.” That word touched my heart. Someone gets upset because of you, and you don’t know anyone to help you. It was her, an angel sent from God to me. She helped me a lot. I felt like I was flying in the sky, and I was going to see Fatima soon. The dream of my life would come true. I chose her. I swear she was the oldest person there. I had mixed feelings. I felt afraid as soon as I took her away. Can I raise and make her happy or treat her well? I talked to her and she made me laugh, and I was hesistant about having her, when she kissed me. It is as if she was asking me not to leave her. The one who was with me said, “This is your daughter. She kissed you, and she doesn’t know you.” I said, “Okay” and left. When I came out of the room, I found her calling me “Mama”. I wanted to open my heart and hide her inside it. This is my daughter. This is Fatima. This is the one who will take me to heaven. And today, after five months, she is with me, the best five months of my life. I have a daughter who calls me her mother. She hugs me when I cry. I don’t know anything else but her hug. She colored my life with the taste of joy and happiness. May God bless and protect her, and may God strengthen me to raise her well and make her the happies girl in the world.

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